Rory Reynolds: Likely to offend..or just a cheeky stunt?

A new survey suggesting marriage is dead was not much of a shock to most people. So, asks, Rory Reynolds, in these liberal times just what kind of behaviour does shock the modern Scot?

IN a more innocent time, they used to croon that love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage - a 21st century version might be rewritten to have it as just optional baggage.

Another flurry of figures has shown further erosion to the institution of marriage, with the Scottish Centre for Social Research finding that only 13 per cent of Scots think that sex before marriage is always or mostly wrong.

Meanwhile, a clear majority, 58 per cent, feel that sex between two adults of the same sex is either "rarely" or "not wrong at all". Ten years ago just 37 per cent agreed with these statements.

They also found as many as 55 per cent feel that contraception should be more easily available to teenagers.

The survey findings suggest that Scotland's new-found liberalism have left us more or less un-shockable.

In any case it is clear that many adults are no longer balking at the prospect of their sons and daughters joining the Skins generation.

But what limit does that extend to?

Relationship experts and sociologists told the Evening News that although many people have become realistic about marriage breakdown, the prospect of affairs taking place, and the likelihood that they will never actually marry, that does not extend to any tolerance of deviant behaviour, as often seen in the case of shamed politicians.

The lies, the denial of a betrayal, and a lack of commitment, like that of former MSP Tommy Sheridan, were among the most shocking factors that outweighed any new-found liberal tolerance, they said.

Meanwhile, one academic from the University of Amsterdam welcomed the swift change in tolerance to homosexuality in Scotland and the increase in the number of those who take a "realistic" approach to supplying teens with contraceptives.

However, he predicted that Scots may have some way to go before they see sex education in primary school classrooms - a move that the Dutch believe prepares young pupils for the realities of their teenage years.

Tim McConville, practice manager at Couple Counselling Lothian, Scotland's largest provider of relationship counselling, dating back to 1946, said that many couples he counsels have become open about dealing with the impact of an affair.

"It has become more of an acceptance that it is a possibility, and there is not the same taboo in talking about it. I think we're more honest with ourselves" he said. "You could say an affair is less of a big deal than it has been. Although not for everyone."

However, Mr McConville said while couples deal with the reality they find themselves in, that can be stretched to a limit.

"I don't know about the Tommy Sheridan case in particular, but with sex clubs and brothels it is more shocking to those involved because it's to do with health risks" he said.

"It's a long way from just falling for another person. Another example is people using prostitutes on their stag night. It's not just the act itself. It raises questions over people's commitment to a relationship."

He added: "I don't think counsellors are shockable anymore."

Sociology professor Lynn Jamieson, of the Centre for Research on Families and Relationships at Edinburgh University, said that it was not the act that shocked but the pursuit of a lie that caused such anger.

"Clearly infidelity goes hand in hand with lying, but the Tommy Sheridan case wasn't just that.

"In this case he denied something that had actually happened, it was on a different level of lying.

"It's difficult to say, but I'd be inclined to say it was the dishonesty that shocked people."

Aside from the issue of infidelity, is that of contraception and sex education for teenagers, including those aged under 16.

Laurens Buijs of the University of Amsterdam's sociology department, said the new Scotland survey is encouraging, but expected that many Scots would be more than a little shocked if their local authority began sex education classes for their primary-age son or daughter.

Mr Buijs said although there hasdbeen a dramatic improvement in Scots' attitudes to same sex couples, there was some way to go. "The Christian Democrat party here support gay marriage, sex education from a very young age. These traits, along with the level of rights for gay couples, have become almost part of national identify. It is good to see such a dramatic improvement in Scotland though."

Although our new-found liberalism may be something to celebrate, we no doubt still have some way to go before we are rubbing shoulders with the Dutch. Make no mistake, it is right that we balk at the thought of an elected politician engaged in sordid activity, as opposed to the complacency of certain other European states.

And as relationship experts testify, acceptance of infidelity and counselling has brought many back together.

As for the Skins generation though, parents had better get used to the idea that there's no going back.

POLITICIANS HAVE TO KEEP IT CLEAN

BARE-FACED cheek like this may no longer shock us, but we still don't take kindly to political scandals, whether in 1963 or 2011.

The first post-war political affair involved war minister John Profumo, and Christine Keeler, a model with links to the Soviets.

Profumo, once tipped to be PM, left politics to clean the toilets at Toynbee Hall, while Keeler wrote several books on the scandal.

In 2011, a decade of lies and deceit ended when Tommy Sheridan, was sent down for perjury.

The former socialist leader's colourful trial even saw No.10's press chief dragged into the fray.